Walk the line

I’m reminded of that line from the Johnny Cash song this morning after doing some initial research on offering finger foods to Aidan. There’s a concept floating out there called “baby led weaning” which has something to say about timing and types of foods to first offer a baby. And then you have the traditional cereal first, spoon-fed, everything-pureed-into-smithereens approach. And of course, the timing for all these things varies greatly. Here in India, baby is offered cereal at least by his or her 3^rd month (take a deep breath, WHO and AAP).

I’m a formulaic person. I like to have predictable, measurable schedules for things and know what the expected outcome should be. I love WHO and AAP guidelines on breastfeeding, supplemental feeding, etc. In early days of feeding Aidan (see other post), I was following internet recommendations and advice on breastfeeding issues like the most devoted stock market broker does the stocks. So my natural instinct was to do the same when it came to feeding Aidan his first foods, despite hearing my own Mom’s simple, tried-and-true advice: “When he starts to grab food from your plate, he’s ready! Give it to him.”

Now I see what she was talking about. All my online searching hasn’t turned up anything more helpful or astute than what she said. A host of websites I scoured today recommend that when baby’s pincer skill is well developed (aka, grabbing food) that baby is ready. Mom, you’re a genius.

Back to baby led weaning. The idea is that, just as in breastfeeding, you offer food to your baby and allow the baby to work to get it. Baby determines when and how much to eat, which hones motor skills and the ability to determine for him/herself when the stomach is full instead of overfeeding with a spoon. Give the baby big, easy to grab blocks or sticks of food and let him/her go for it. Nice idea, but then so much food is wasted (which is a big deal here where cost of food is rising, as in many places). Aidan has been getting pureed, spoon-fed meals since he was just a bit older than 6 months. We bravely moved into the slightly mashed meat and egg stage pretty early on (week 1), and only in the past few weeks did he really get the hang of gumming things around in his mouth that had any texture. I guess it’s time to move on, as he’s getting better with his pincer skills, too. Yet, I want to help him. I want to make sure that food gets into his mouth—especially after I went to all the trouble to dice/tear/soften it! But he needs a measure, a good measure, of freedom. Freedom to experiment, learn, and grow without me hovering over every bite.

All this to say, I think that with feeding solids, as in every area of parenting it would seem, there’s a tightrope that has to be walked between overseeing and allowing independence for the child. As baby grows into a new skill, he needs some breathing room to practice. . .and be allowed to make mistakes. . .and waste food (gasp). . .and find some success for his hard work, even if it is only a few, hard-won bites. For me, giving Aidan grace means rejoicing in this learning process, not getting frustrated with him or expecting perfection. Or speed. I guess I can always follow a meal up with a little spoon feeding if he still seems hungry.

Hello, ugly, green plastic floor mat. You are our new friend.